Almighty Thor (2011)

Movie: 2/5
Video: 4/5
Audio: 3.5/5
Extras: 3/5
Overall: 3/5

"Learn How to Frame Your Movie!"

Loki (Richard Grieco, 21 Jump Street) is laying waste to Valhalla in search of the hammer of the Gods. Odin (Kevin Nash) sends the hammer to Earth in his final dying breath. Thor (Cody Deal) and Jarnsaxa (Patricia Velasquez, The Mummy; Mindhunters) evade Loki and his horde of evil monsters to escape to Earth. Loki in his quest for the hammer goes to Earth to kill Thor and to try to take control of the galaxy.
For a film from The Asylum, this one is not as bad, but it's not that great either. I guess Thor running around some major city, I am guessing Los Angeles, with an Uzi was a great idea. I wish I was joking about that last sentence, he's fighting Loki head on and is firing an Uzi at him trying to lay him to waste. There's no real honor in that in my humble opinion.

Also, I am giving some harsh criticism towards whoever thought to put the film in scope. In the behind the scenes stuff, we can clearly see that it's all 16:9 and all of the other Asylum films that I have seen are 16:9. It's like they just decided to crop the top and bottom of the screen without properly adjusting the image. Because most of the top, either Thor or Loki's head is completely chopped off the frame while he is talking. That is unacceptable. I give the film 2/5.

Video: 4/5
Presented in 2.35:1 with an MPEG2 encode; Almighty Thor has somewhat of a better transfer than most of the Asylum films that I have seen. Detail is nice and solid with the bitrate being in the high 20's and even goes into the 30's. The film plays on the colors of blue and grey after the first half hour. I think it helps convey the dismal situation that Loki is putting everyone through. I give the video presentation 4/5.

Audio: 3.5/5

We have two audio tracks on the disc; English Dolby Digital 5.1 and Dolby Digital 2.0. While listening to the audio tracks, the 2.0 stereo track is loud and has more of a kick to it in comparison to the 5.1 surround sound track. If you do decide to watch this film, go with the 2.0 stereo track. I give the audio 3.5/5.

Extras:  3/5

Trailers for Battle of Los Angeles, 200 M.P.H, Anneliese: The Exorcist Tapes, Ballistica, Mega Shark Vs Crocosaurus, Princess and the Pony, and Almighty Thor. A nine minute making of which shows how miserable Richard Grieco looks and claims that this film has a 124 page script. Patricia Velasquez points how fast this film is being made in terms of training and shooting, which was two weeks. Cody Deal seems to have everything wrong about this film and how an audience will react. And a blooper reel which is undesirable. I give the extras a 3/5.

Overall: 3/5

I picked this up for $5. I wouldn't pay more than that for this film. I do know that it is available in a triple feature set with The 7 Adventures of Sinbad and John Carter of Mars. As far as Asylum films go, it's better than Alien Origin; Countdown: Armageddon; and 2012: Doomsday. I give this Blu-ray release of Almighty Thor a 3/5.

Hansel & Gretel (2013)

Movie: 3/5
Video: 4.5/5
Audio: 5/5
Extras: 2.5/5
Overall: 4/5

"Dee Wallace Looked Like She Had Fun. Did You?"

I question why The Asylum wanted to do a mockbuster on "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters"? One of the first things that happened right off the bat after realizing that this took place in present day is one simple question; "Who on Earth hated their children that much to name their kids Hansel and Gretel?" Well, Dee Wallace plays the nice old lady who runs "The Gingerbread House" which is a special bakery.

When Hansel and Gretel are told that their father is getting remarried, Hansel runs off in protest and steps on a bear trap while out in the middle of the woods. Lilith (Wallace) helps Gretel with Hansel and they go into her house. She drugs the brother and sister and soon both are shackled and trapped in her basement and face death.

Dee Wallace looked like she was giving it her all and was having fun with the role. But, I don't feel that the source material doesn't work in present day. It honestly felt like a cheap wannabe Rob Zombie movie. Even the back cover states; "A wickedly brutal classic in the vein of Hostel and House of 1,000 Corpses!" I think when they did this, they just took from those two films and added a supernatural element to it with Dee Wallace as the witch.

For a straight to video horror film, I felt it was ok. Dee Wallace is the only good thing about it. Dee Wallace does great at playing the sinister, yet innocent looking witch. I like some of the practical effects were well done. This isn't a CGI heavy film like some of the past Asylum films like Bigfoot or Mega Python Vs Gatoroid. I felt that it was somewhat of a fresh breath for them since it's all been like for the past few films. I give the film a 3/5.

Video: 4.5/5

Presented in 1.78:1. Has The Asylum ever done a film that wasn't 16:9? Presentation is nice and clear with artifacing here and there. Considering all of The Asylum's films are shot digitally, this one honestly has the best transfer out of all of them. Colors and nice and rich. I am very pleased with this one. 4.5/5

Audio: 5/5

There's an error on the box art with the audio listing, "5.1 Surround Sound", well... it's 5.1 DTS-HD MA. And it's a very nice and solid audio track. The Asylum is knocking it out of the park with this release. I didn't feel the need to turn up the audio or turn it down. Very even and linear. As close to perfection as possible. 5/5.

Extras: 2.5/5

I wasn't too impressed with the extras on this disc. We have a commentary. Then we have the "Making Of" which is a few minutes. Dee Wallace said that she was busy but was begged to do the film. I found that kinda funny. In the "Gag Reel", cast and crew talk about their favorite candy with bloopers spliced in, along with footage of Dee Wallace in full witch make up having fun on set. Hell's Crafty which is a Gordon Ramsey parody with a Kraft service guy who passed away. And then we finally have trailers for upcoming films and some that are all ready out and the 15th anniversary trailer was funny. I give the bonus features a 2.5/5.

Overall: 4/5

I felt this was a decent Asylum film. As stated, this felt like a wannabe Rob Zombie film with how some of the shots are set up. Other than that, it's good for some laughs. If you're big on Asylum films, I'd recommend going after this one. I also managed to score this during Best Buy's Upgrade and Save for $5 plus tax. Worth it at that price. 4/5.

Dragonquest (2009) / Merlin and the War of the Wizards (2008)

Movie: 3/5
Video: 3.5/5
Audio: 3.5/5
Extras: 0/5
Overall: 2.5/5

"The Asylum Goes to the Dark Ages!"

Movies: 3/5

Dragonquest: 2.5/5

I guess "Pebblequest" was too much of a boring title? Plot of this film is that a young boy who likes to smoke weed is "the chosen one" and must quest to save the world from a fiend (Brian Thompson; Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Joe Dirt) who unleashes a dragon to destroy the world. While questing to find all the pebbles, our protagonists likes to pull the pipe out and give a few puffs here and there to get some clarity. He'll smoke while even in the belly of a sea monster while questing.

This movie was funny. Brian Thompson plays a good villain. And to basically sum it up, it's a Medieval Star Wars. Brian Thompson is Emperor Palpatine and has holograms of himself popping up and uses the force to choke kill people for fun. The female protagonist is dressed almost exactly like Aya Ueto from Ryuhei Kitamura's Azumi. And Mark Singer is essentially Yoda mixed with Nick Nolte. I give this a 2.5/5.

Merlin and the War of the Dragons: 3.5/5

The Asylum went to England and shot a Dark Ages knight and swords action film. The title is misleading; "Merlin and the War of the Dragons" with the emphasis on "War of the Dragons". Merlin is an orphan being trained by a powerful wizard (Jurgen Prochnow). While his best friend convinces him to take the wizard's book to learn who his father is, tables are turned and his best friend becomes England's biggest enemy. As Merlin tries to put a stop to his sorcery, his rival is now turning people into dragons.

Dragons are probably seen for about five minutes tops throughout the film. It would probably be suiting to call the film; "Merlin Saves Humanity". The CGI for the dragons is hit and miss and Jurgen Prochnow does a great job and is in it for about half of the film. The two sirens/nymphs are cute to look at too. This Asylum film isn't that bad for ninety minutes. Also, the ending gives it the look that it's set up for a sequel/trilogy, but I guess the critics hated it enough for The Asylum to leave it unfinished. However, I give it a 3.5/5.

Video: 3.5/5

Dragonquest: 2.5/5

The transfer provided for "Dragonquest" on this Blu-ray release is problematic. After the fifty-three minute mark, things go downhill. After you have the low resolution-rendered CGI spider show up, the image starts to ghost as the young hero gets out of the cave. Almost as if they shot in the wrong frame rate. Also, shots are slowed down for dramatic effect which also shows problems with the video quality. Other than that, shots are mostly detailed and grain is decent. 2.5/5.

Merlin and the War of the Dragons: 4/5

Echo Bridge has been given a great HD transfer for the film. However, in some of the green screened and CGI renders in the film, the quality is kinda degraded. Also, some of the dragons are chopped off at the top and left hand side of the image whereas they are supposed to be flying off. Someone at The Asylum should have checked that before giving the "All Clear" on the transfer. Contrast in the colors and grain looks fantastic! I wonder if The Asylum used different equipment than the usual fare that we've seen for "I Am Omega" and "War of the Worlds 2" for example. Video on this portion of the disc gets a 4/5.

Audio: 3.5/5

Dragonquest: 3.5/5

Audio presentation on "Dragonquest" is English Dolby Digital 2.0. It's soft. I had to turn up the sound as I played it back. Action is decent, sound wise. I give it a 3.5/5.

Merlin and the War of the Dragons: 3.5/5

Echo Bridge has given us a nice English Dolby Digital 5.1 track. I think this must have been the same 5.1 track on the Asylum's DVD release of the film. The track is good, however, it did feel a bit subdued at times. I did have to turn it up a bit during the first few minutes of the film. However, after the first half hour, the sound is decent. I give the audio on "Merlin and the War of the Dragons" a 3.5/5.

Extras: 0/5

Like most early Echo Bridge Blu-ray releases, no extras.

Overall: 2.5/5

I picked this up for about $7 after taxes at Best Buy during Summer 2012. I would say this is a decent double feature from The Asylum. If you're looking into giving any Asylum Blu-rays a chance, go for my favorite Asylum film "I Am Omega". That double feature was good with "The Haunting of Winchester House". If The Asylum films aren't for you, skip this. I give this release a 2.5/5.

Mega Piranha (2010)

Movie: 2/5
Video: 4/5
Audio: 5/5
Extras: 0/5
Overall: 3/5

"Mega Whatever"

What makes a celebrity do an Asylum film? Traci Lords did Princess of Mars for daycare money. And The Asylum has royally bashed her for bashing them over this incident. Mark Dacascos knows one of the people who was running I Am Omega. What could have possessed Tiffany to do not one, but two Asylum films?

Tiffany plays a scientist who creates a genetically enhanced species of piranha. After a U.S. representative is eaten by the piranha, a specialist is brought in to figure who killed the diplomat. After the specialist comes face to face with the killer fish, he brings it up to the corrupt general and shrugs it off. Now, the fish are growing bigger and hungry with every passing minute.

I am giving this film a 2/5. I was annoyed at the inconsistancies in the size of the killer fish. Whenever they talk about the size, they'll say it's as big as a car. Then it shows it as big as a car, in one shot. Then, it'll cut to another shot and it's about a quarter of the size whenever they are jumping about in the water. Acting is pretty rough in this too and not believeable. Tiffany looks rough as hell in this movie, in comparison to Mega Python Vs Gatoroid.

Video: 4/5

Shot digitally like all Asylum films, if you've seen my reviews on past titles, then there is nothing new to report. With the exception that the PQ is slightly better this time around. Details are fair and there's a nice level of grain that pops up. I give Echo Bridge's video presentation a 4/5.

Audio: 5/5

Considering that Echo Bridge released this film right off the bat that it got it's general DVD release from The Asylum, we have an English DTS-HD MA 2.0 track for the film. Sound is really good for a 2.0 track. Generally, with Asylum DVDs, you'll have a 5.1 Dolby Digital track. It's a shame that we couldn't have the 5.1 DD over the DTS-HD MA 2.0 track, but, it'll do. 5/5 for the audio.

Extras: 0/5

Like all these Echo Bridge/Asylum Blu-rays, no extras.

Overall: 3/5

You can get this for $5. If you can't find it airing on the Sci-Fi channel or Starz, I'd say it's worth the $5 plus tax. Considering that you can get other Echo Bridge/Asylum Blu-rays for the same price, I'd suggest getting "I Am Omega" or "Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus". 3/5 for this Blu-ray.

Transmorphers: Fall of Man (2009)

Movie: 0.5/5
Video: 3/5
Audio: 2.5/5
Extras: 0.5/5
Overall: 1.5/5

Makes the First Film Look Like a Masterpiece. I Am Serious.

Wow, where to begin. The first film is infamously bad because of how it was a cash in of Michael Bay's "Transformers". This time around, we have a prequel to the Leigh Scott film and they shouldn't have even bothered. This one is up there in comparison to The Asylum's "Countdown: Armageddon" and I was not too thrilled with that one. Seriously, some of this was so laugh out loud bad it was sad. You got a woman running around like a prostitute from the 1970's with this bright freakin' pink get up and hooker boots. Shots that are stock footage from previous Asylum films like "War of the Worlds 2" and some of this footage was re-used in the 2011 Mockbuster "Battle of Los Angeles".

I usually get a kick out of watching films from The Asylum because some of them are so bad it's good. This one is not that kind of Asylum flick that I like. I really dug "I Am Omega" and "Transmorphers" to name a few. I honestly cannot recommend this one at all to anyone. Avoid it like that plague because it makes the first film look like a masterpiece. I am serious. .5/5.

The video is the same because The Asylum shoots all their stuff with the same average looking camera that surely has gone through hell and back. There was a shot of Bruce Boxleitner that had some severe pixelating and interlacing problems which was noticeable for that two seconds. Video scores a 3/5.

Audio is 5.1 and 2.0. Echo Bridge gave us better audio presentations when they were releasing Asylum titles back in 2010. Audio is just average, 2.5/5. Extra features are lame in this release; a making of, bloopers, and two deleted scenes. Whoopty-doo, they aren't worth the time to watch. Extras score a dismal .5/5.

Overall, this is a bad Asylum title. If you want to watch a decent one; check out "Haunting of Winchester House" or "I Am Omega" or even "Transmorphers". Just avoid this one because it's not worth the time. Overall, I give "Transmorphers: Fall of Man" a 1.5/5.

2012: Doomsday (2008) / Countdown: Armageddon (2009) / Mega Fault (2009)

Movie: 1/5
Video: 2/5
Audio: 3/5
Extras: 0/5
Overall: 1.5/5

A Laughly Horrible Triple Feature From The Asylum.

*Reposting due to miscalculation of Overall Score*

This triple feature by The Asylum, distributed by Echo Bridge, contains three films on two BD25 discs with the first disc containing 2012: Doomsday and Countdown: Armageddon with the second disc containing the third and final film Mega Fault.

2012: Doomsday
Movie: 1/5
Video: 2.5/5
Audio: 3/5

The Asylum goes religious! The created the sub-studio Faith Films to cater to the religious themed films, hence we have the film about the biblical rapture mixed with the Mayan culture in this horrible "so bad, it's good" film. This film feels like it's about four years too late for The Asylum to cash in on Roland Emmerich's "The Day After Tomorrow". The film takes place in Mexico where a young woman helps a village and in LA where a paramedic has a spiritual awareness. After a man dies in the street, the paramedic's mother goes on a religious rant about the final days. Then all of the sudden people start vanishing due to the rapture. It gets confusing and hilarious at the same time by the acting. People can't deliver lines to save their lives in this disaster-piece. 1/5.

The video is really average. Presented in 1.78:1, there's a good amount of grain but at times it looks like there's been DNR applied to scenes. It's really an odd transfer. The video scores a 2.5/5. The only audio track is an English Dolby Digital 2.0 track. It sounds ok but at times comes across a little weak. The audio scores 3/5.

Countdown: Armageddon aka Countdown: Jerusalem
Movie: .5/5
Video: 2.5/5
Audio: 3/5

Another one of The Asylum's Faith Films productions. This movie drove me to tears. This movie is so boring it's not even funny. The movie is another biblical rapture mumbojumbo where a woman's daughter has vanished or "raptured" in LA. She is then looking for her husband who she believes kidnapped their daughter and has taken her to Israel. Then once in Israel, all hell breaks loose with local politics and the country becomes a war zone. The woman is racing against time to find her daughter. This movie has one of the worst endings that I have ever seen. It tries to be artistic but you know what happened it and it's pointless that they've tacked on that ending. It's sloppy.

The video presentation is another average to poor presentation like "2012: Doomsday". Presented in 1.78:1, the video scores a 2.5/5. The audio is only an English Dolby Digital 2.0 track, scores a 3/5.

Megafault
Movie: 2/5
Video: 1.5/5
Audio: 3/5

One of Brittany Murphy's last features was "Megafault", in this film you can tell she has lost a lot of weight and it's sad to see her go. The film is ok, it kept me more interested than the other two films in the set. In it, a giant earthquake triggers a global catastrophe. Best movie in the set, but not saying much.

The video is really poor. 1.5/5 because some scenes look okay and then others just look downright horrible. Especially in the opening of the film and it's just like, there's big aliases around Brittany. The audio is good, again like the other two Dolby Digital 2.0 - 3/5.

Overall:
Movie: 1+.5+2 = 3.5/3 = 1.25 which I'll round down to 1/5.
Video: 2.5+2.5+1.5 = 6.5/3 = 2.17 which I'll round to 2/5.
Audio: 3+3+3= 9/3 = 3/5
Extras: 0/5
Overall: 1+2+3+0= 6/4 = 1.5/5.

The Day the Earth Stopped / War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave (2008)

Movie: 3/5
Video: 3/5
Audio: 3/5
Extras: 0/5
Overall: 2.5/5

A "C. Thomas Howell" Double Feature.

The Asylum gave C. Thomas Howell (The Hitcher) full reign for a while at directing and starring in a few movies. The double feature on this disc contains "War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave" and "The Day the Earth Stopped", both directed and starring Howell. In "WotW2:TNW", the aliens return for a final fight and C. Thomas Howell's character is forced to take the aliens head on when his son abducted by the aliens. Howell's character and an ex-soldier played Christopher Reid of "House Party" fame, find themselves in an abandoned city trying to figure out how to stop the aliens. In "TDTES", Howell's character is a soldier who is forced to endure a woman from another world when she tells them that the world will end unless he can prove that humanity has a purpose.

"War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave"
Movie: 3/5
Video: 3/5
Audio: 3/5

The movie was entertaining and I fell it is better than the original film that The Asylum made in 2005. It looks and feels like it has a smaller budget compared to the first film in 2005. One of my biggest problems is the "actress" who pops up in almost all of The Asylum films, Kim Little. She plays a scientist who is supposedly "southern". Her accent is atrocious on every level. It is cringe worthy every time she speaks. And the thing is, she breaks the accents on several occasions and they used these takes as opposed to doing another take. I guess The Asylum wanted to cheese it up on purpose. I think Howell and Reid carried film pretty well, and if you've seen the film, you can tell that time hasn't been pleasant to Reid. Also, to anyone who noticed, the house that Howell's character lives in is also the same house that was used in "I Am Omega"; I give the 3/5.

The video presentation is pretty good overall, there's grain present and some digital altering in post-production that kills the grain levels. It seems that The Asylum does this all the time because I've noticed this on all of the films that they've done that have gotten Blu-ray releases, even the German "Transmorphers" release. Video gets a 3/5.

The only audio track on the disc is an English Dolby Digital 2.0 track. It is average at best, in some spots it sounds weak, but in other spots, it sounds good. The added in ADR really stands out in several scenes which bothers me a bit. The audio scores 3/5.

"The Day the Earth Stopped"
Movie: 2.5/5
Video: 3/5
Audio: 3/5

"The Day the Earth Stopped" is lesser of both films on this release. The movie drags in a lot of scenes and is also laughable in some spots for how bad the film is. I think this also the first time that The Asylum threw in nudity in the film from the lead actress who plays "Sky". Also, for an alien, she sure has a nice outline of a bikini; didn't anyone on the production team think that they should have covered that up with make up? The movie scores a 2.5/5.

The video, is like all the other titles I've seen from The Asylum; there will be a nice level of grain and then some digital effect will kill the grain. It's just like all the other video PQ from all the other movies. It gets a 3/5. The audio, again, English Dolby Digital 2.0. It too scores a 3/5.

Overall:
Movie: 3+2.5 = 5.5/10 = 2.75 which I'll round to a 3/5.
Video: 3+3 = 6/10 = 3/5
Audio: 3+3 = 6/10 = 3/5
Extras: 0+0 = 0/5
Overall: 3+3+3+0 = 9/4 = 2.25 which I'll round to 2.5/5.

Haunting of Winchester House (2009) / I Am Omega (2007)

Movie: 3/5
Video: 3/5
Audio: 3/5
Extras: 0/5
Overall: 2.5/5

A Decent Double Feature.

I knew what I was getting myself into with "I Am Omega". I owned the Thai Region 3 DVD of the film and decided to upgrade it to the glorious Blu-ray format. However, I didn't know what I was getting myself into with "The Haunting of Winchester House", I only knew that it was a cash in on "The Haunting in Connecticut". I was fairly pleased with it, but it was far too predictable. Let us break down each film individually:

"The Haunting of Winchester House"
Movie: 3/5
Video: 3/5
Audio: 3/5

The movie starts off with a family being paid to watch the Winchester Mansion for a few months (a la "The Shining"). Once they move into the house, strange things start to occur and their daughter goes missing. Soon, vengeful spirits make their presence known and the family now fight to their souls and to find their daughter. The movie is entertaining, I wasn't bored to death with it like I was with The Asylum's "Countdown: Armageddon". It was really predictable on how it would end. I could see it from a mile away. It's gets a sold 3/5.

The video presentation is really good considering that the film only takes up almost 10 GB of space on the disc. There's a nice amount of grain present on the video. However, some scenes look over saturated, either too much lighting or done in post production in some of the daylight scenes. 3/5 for the video. The audio is just a tad bit above average for a mere Dolby Digital 2.0 track. The audio gets a 3/5.

"I Am Omega"
Movie: 3/5
Video: 3/5
Audio: 3/5

The Asylum's cash in on "I Am Legend". I feel "I Am Omega" is more interesting, mainly because of the star of the film is; Mark Decascos of "Le Pacte Des Loups" and the television series "The Crow: Stairway to Heaven". Decascos is the supposed last man on Earth after a plague has turned everyone into zombies. However one night, he receives a video call from a woman in the city he's trying to blow up. After he gets the call, two men from a colony show up and force him to track down the girl to save humanity, or so it seems. The movie could be better, but for a fairly low budget, it's pretty good. 3/5.

The video starts off rough, again, with the lighting. I think this time it's post-production adding of contrast and brightness. After the first five minutes, when we first see Mark on screen, the video has a nice level of grain present pretty much throughout the film. It's not the greatest video presentation, but it does well; 3/5. The audio, again is a Dolby Digital 2.0 track, 3/5.

Overall:
Movie: 3+3 = 6/10 = 3/5
Video: 3+3 = 6/10 = 3/5
Audio: 3+3 = 6/10 = 3/5
Overall: 3+3+3 = 9/4 = 2.25 = I'll round up to a 2.5/5.

Transmorphers (2007)

Movie: 3/5
Video: 3.5/5
Audio: 4.5/5
Extras: 2/5
Overall: 3/5

Transformers?

If anyone knows The Asylum, you know what they are into doing. This is the infamous Transformers rip off that came out the same time to cash in on unsuspecting people who thought this was "Transformers" and not "Transmorphers". The story doesn't rip off Transformers at all. It's more like a Matrix Revolutions mixed with Terminator more or less is how I can describe this movie.

The movie isn't that great but it is entertaining. For that, I'd give it a 3/5. The video presentation is all around ok, it could be better if this was presented on a BD-50. It looks a little soft, but there is grain present on the presentation. The "Transmorphers" stand out a lot more than the environment. I'd give the video a 3.5/5.

The audio tracks presented on this Blu-ray are English and German Dolby Digital 5.1 tracks. And then one German 2 Ch track. The audio sounds good. The German dub tracks are tame compared to the English audio. 4.5/5. The extras are weak, there's a trailer in 4:3 SD and a behind the scenes which is horribly interlaced and OUT OF SYNC. 2/5 for the extras.

I have to give this a 3/5. It's cheesy, it's not an award winner by any means, but for about $10, it's enjoyable to watch.